Relationship Counseling & Couples Therapy in Irvine
Because it shouldn't be this hard to feel understood by the person you love
Real Change for Couples Who Feel Stuck
Relationship Counseling in Irvine using EFT: A clear approach that really works
You love each other—but something has shifted. The closeness that used to be easy now feels like work. Conversations that should be simple turn into a 'defend and attack' loop, or worse; a heavy, suffocating silence. You’re living in the same house, but you feel miles apart.
It’s exhausting to feel unheard by the person who knows you best. You’ve tried to bridge the gap on your own. You’ve promised to 'do better' and tried to swallow your words to avoid another blow-up, but the wall between you just keeps getting higher. You remember what warmth used to feel like, but lately, you're just tired.
Yet, the fact that you’re frustrated means you still care. That frustration is actually a sign of hope. It means you haven't given up. You don't need a referee to tell you who is 'right' or a list of communication tips that don't work when you're angry. You need a way to tear down the wall and find solid ground again.
There’s an ache that’s hard to put into words
You've Tried to Fix This on Your Own
You've read the books, listened to the podcasts, and had the 2 a.m. talks, but the same stuckness returns. You've both tried to bridge the distance with playlists, notes, and promises. It never quite lasts.
The ache of knowing the person you love most doesn't fully see what's going on inside you.
The exhaustion of feeling like roommates instead of partners.
The loneliness of lying next to someone who feels a million miles away.
You're ready to understand what keeps the walls so high. You're ready to reach for each other again without fear. You need a place where you can both put the armor down.
That's what relationship counseling in Irvine with EFT therapy can give you.
Here's What Changes in EFT Therapy
Most therapy fails because it tries to give you "tips" on how to talk. But when you’re mid-argument, nobody remembers a script.
I use a different approach. Instead of just talking about your problems, we get to the root of why you're stuck. We look at the actual moments where things go sideways—the tone of voice, the shutting down, the feeling that you have to defend yourself. I help you stop the "back-and-forth" so you can finally feel like you're on the same team again.
What happens during our couples therapy sessions:
We identify what’s really going on beneath the surface. The fight about the dishes isn’t really about the dishes. It’s about feeling unseen, unimportant, or alone. I help you see the emotional needs driving the conflict so you can stop fighting about the "stuff" and start talking about what matters.
We break the patterns keeping you stuck. You aren't broken; you're just caught in a "dance" where you both try to protect yourselves in ways that accidentally hurt the other. We slow that dance down so you can see the cycle before it takes over.
We rebuild emotional safety. When you realize your partner isn’t criticizing you but is actually asking for reassurance, everything shifts. You learn how to reach for each other instead of constantly defending yourself.
We create a foundation that lasts. EFT builds a new way of "showing up" for each other that doesn't fade when life gets stressful. You aren't just learning communication tips; you're learning how to be a team again.
This isn't about blame or judgment. It’s about letting go of shame, being truly seen, and learning how to hold onto each other through the hard parts.
Why EFT Therapy Works When Other Approaches Don't
It addresses what actually matters. Your conflicts aren't random. They’re rooted in the most basic human need: to know that you matter, that you’re safe, and that you aren’t alone. EFT helps you finally meet those needs for each other.
The results are proven. Research shows that 70–75% of couples move from distress to recovery with EFT, and over 90% report significant improvement. These aren't just statistics—they represent real couples who thought they were beyond repair.
It works even when things feel hopeless. Many couples come to me as a last resort, with one person already feeling "checked out." EFT creates a space for the honest conversations that haven't felt safe to have at home. Whether that leads to a deep reconnection or the clarity needed for next steps, you won’t be figuring it out alone.
The changes actually last. Because EFT changes how you see and respond to each other at the core, the progress doesn't disappear when life gets stressful. You aren't just practicing a technique; you’re building a new way of being together.
Hi, I’m Karl
Your relationship counselor in Irvine, CA
I help couples untangle what’s keeping them disconnected. My work is about slowing things down, cutting through the noise, and helping your partner finally hear what you are trying to say.
Whether you're dealing with constant blow-ups or a heavy, growing silence, I offer a space where you can finally put the armor down. In our sessions, we focus on getting you back to solid ground. While we will primarily use the proven framework of EFT, I bring a grounded, open-minded approach, from the point-of-view of a male therapist. Helping you get past the 'stuck' points so that we can change the story of your relationship.
My goal is for you to leave therapy with more than just 'tools.” I want you to leave with a deeper confidence in yourselves and a confidence in the security of your relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions - Relationship Counseling Irvine
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EFT is a structured, short-term approach to couples therapy. Unlike traditional therapy that might just give you communication "tips," EFT goes deeper. It focuses on the emotional bond between you and your partner. We work to identify the "cycle" of conflict you get stuck in and transform it into a source of connection and safety. It is widely considered the "gold standard" of couples work because it deals with the root cause of the distance, not just the symptoms.
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Yes, but the method matters. EFT is one of the most researched and validated forms of therapy available today. Studies show that 70–75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and over 90% report significant improvement. It’s not about just "venting" in a room; it’s about a proven process that creates lasting changes in how you relate to one another.
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This is more common than you might think. Often, "checking out" is actually a protective response to years of feeling hurt or unheard—it's a way of putting the armor on. EFT is specifically designed to create a safe enough space for that partner to express what they’re feeling without fear of judgment or a "2-on-1" dynamic. Whether the goal is full reconnection or finding clarity on the next steps, we work at a pace that respects where both of you are.
Our work won't be about forcing a decision or pushing you toward staying together. Instead, we create space for honest conversations that probably haven't felt safe at home. We slow things down. We get curious.
For some couples, this process leads to reconnection and rebuilding. For others, it offers clarity and compassion about parting ways. Either way, you get the tools, space, and support to navigate this decision with honesty and integrity.
You don't have to be 100% sure to get started—just open to exploring what's possible.
Ready to Feel Connected Again?
It can feel like a big step to reach out. I’ll make it easy.
We’ll spend 15 minutes on the phone, and I’ll let you know how—or if—I can help. If I’m not the right person for your specific situation, I’ll do my best to connect you with someone who is.
You don’t have to keep carrying the weight of this silence or these arguments alone. There is a way through.
Most couples who reach out tell me they wish they’d done it sooner. You deserve to feel seen by the person you love. Let’s start there.
A Private Space to Connect for
Couples Therapy in Irvine
My office is located near the Irvine Spectrum, providing a quiet, professional space for in-person sessions. I serve couples throughout Orange County, including Newport Beach, Laguna Hills, and Lake Forest.
Whether you are meeting here after work or coming from home, you’ll find a grounded environment designed for the focus and privacy your relationship deserves.
Karl Stenske Therapy 15615 Alton Pkwy, Suite 450 Irvine, CA 92618
Phone & Text: (949) 922-0734