Trauma Therapy Irvine, CA

Trauma Therapy in Irvine, CA

It doesn’t feel harmless — it feels like your life is on the line.

You don’t understand why something as small as a late phone call can feel so overwhelming. Your partner runs behind or forgets to check in, and while others might assume they just got stuck in traffic or lost track of time, your mind goes somewhere else entirely. It doesn’t feel like a harmless delay — it feels like you’ve been forgotten. Abandoned. Unimportant.

Even when you try to reason with yourself — reminding yourself that there are logical explanations — your body and emotions scream something different: “They don’t care. I don’t matter. They’re choosing someone else over me.” It’s not that you’re the jealous type. It’s that, deep down, you need to feel chosen — thought of — important. When you don’t, it hurts in a way that’s hard to explain.

It’s a sharp, almost physical ache — like the bottom has dropped out beneath you. You can feel yourself pulling back before they even walk in the door, building a wall because it feels safer than risking another letdown. You know you want closeness, but in that moment, it feels impossible to reach for it.

And when they finally do call, you're cold. Distant. You want to explain what’s happening inside you, but the words come out sharp, or not at all. If you do speak, it sounds like an attack — and you hate that. You hate how one small moment can leave you feeling guarded and disconnected for days. You want to let them back in, but you don’t know how. You’re tired of this cycle. You’re tired of feeling this way.

“I must be the problem. I am just too much”

You remember a time when things were different — lighter. Before the kids. Before marriage. Back when you were dating and felt wanted, desired, chosen. Back when being together felt easy. Now, even when your partner is kind, fun, and loving, you can’t let it in. You hold back. You don’t allow yourself to enjoy the moment. You feel annoyed, irritable, shut down. And then the shame creeps in. “I must be the problem. I am just too much.”

You scroll past old pictures of the two of you, remembering the way you used to look at each other. You want to feel that again — the softness, the ease — but it slips through your hands before you can grab onto it.

Friends tell you you're too sensitive — that you need to let things go, not take it so personally. But they don’t understand how intense it feels when you're left wondering. The silence doesn’t just feel like waiting — it feels like abandonment. Like you're suspended in a painful unknown. Fifteen minutes can feel like fifteen days.

You’ve tried to push it aside, to convince yourself it’s nothing, but it always comes back. The thoughts. The tightness. The way you replay the moment over and over, hoping it will make sense. It never does.

What’s hard is that you know you're not insecure in most areas of your life. You’re capable, self-aware, and strong. But in relationships, something happens. You begin to doubt. You question your worth. Sometimes you wonder if it has something to do with being adopted. You were adopted so young, and you had a great family. Everyone always told you it wasn’t a big deal. But what if it was? What if that early experience shaped the way you attach, the way you fear being left, the way you struggle to trust that someone will stay?

You Don’t Want to Keep Living Like This

You don’t want to keep living like this — closed off from the person you love, stuck in a loop that leaves you feeling angry, hurt, and ashamed. You want something to change. You want to feel connected again. You want to feel like yourself again — the version of you that could laugh, open up, be present, be happy.

You want to breathe without feeling like you’re bracing for something to go wrong. You want to relax into love and trust it will stay. More than anything, you want to feel safe in your own skin — safe with the person you love, and safe with yourself.

Most of all… you want help. Someone who can understand where this pain comes from and help you work through it. Because you’re not broken. You’re hurting. And there’s a path forward.

Hi, I’m Karl 

I am a Trauma Therapist in Orange County, CA

Let’s Make Sense of Your Story—Together

I help adults who are ready to explore how early life experiences—especially those shaped by emotional neglect, inconsistency, or broken attachment—still echo in their lives today. Not just the big, obvious wounds, but the quiet ones too: the feeling of being too much or not enough, the ache of not feeling truly safe with the people who were supposed to protect you, the confusion of “why don’t I feel how I’m supposed to feel?”

My clients come to me when they’re tired of pretending, performing, or trying to make sense of it all alone. In our work together, things begin to shift. You will start to feel more grounded, more connected, more like themselves. Through laughter, tears, and a lot of “that finally makes sense” moments, we gently untangle the patterns that were never yours to begin with.

I’ve been doing this work for over 15 years. My background includes a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy and another in Adoption Studies, with specialized training in attachment trauma, Brainspotting, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and trauma healing. But what drives my work isn’t just the degrees or credentials—it’s my lived experience. I know what it’s like to carry questions you can’t quite name. To feel lost in relationships, even the close ones. To long for safety but not know what it looks like or how to ask for it.

I also work with individuals healing from attachment-related trauma within spiritual or faith-based communities—those who may have felt emotionally unsafe, unseen, or abandoned in the very places they were told they would find belonging.

In therapy, we meet weekly to build something steady and safe. Sometimes we’ll just talk. Other times we might use Brainspotting, movement, or creativity—whatever helps you access what words alone can’t always reach. It’s not about fixing what’s broken. It’s about making sense of the things that never felt right, so you can finally feel more whole.

Clients often tell me they feel calmer, clearer, more empowered. Their relationships change. Their self-talk softens. They understand where their reactions come from, and instead of shame, there’s compassion. They begin to feel seen—not just by me, but by themselves.

If any of this resonates, you don’t have to keep carrying it on your own. I’d be honored to walk with you.

Contact me for a free consultation for Trauma Therapy Irvine, CA

It’s time to heal what never felt quite right.
Begin the journey toward feeling safe, whole, and connected. Schedule a consult with Orange County Trauma Therapist, Karl Stenske, today and take the next step toward lasting change.

Schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation and take the first step toward feeling safe, seen, and whole—on your terms.

Contact me at (949) 922-0734 for your free 15-minute phone consultation for counseling in Irvine.