Relationship Counseling Irvine

Couples Therapy Irvine

You can’t keep living like this — together but disconnected.

You’re in a relationship, but it doesn’t feel the way it used to. You love each other deeply, but something feels off. The closeness you once had feels distant. You try to talk, but it turns into another argument… or worse, silence. You’re starting to wonder if true connection is even possible again.

It’s exhausting to keep cycling through the same conversations without any real resolution. You may find yourself avoiding certain topics altogether because you already know how it will end—with one of you withdrawing, the other pushing harder, and both of you feeling unheard. Over time, this emotional distance can start to feel like a wall that keeps growing taller, making it harder to remember the warmth and ease you once shared.

It’s like you can see the life you imagined together, but it’s just out of reach. The conversations that used to make you feel close now leave you drained. You try to reach for each other, but somehow it keeps ending with one of you pulling away. You notice the way you both avoid eye contact after a fight, the way you go to bed in separate corners, the way laughter feels rare these days.

You both want more—more honesty, more tenderness, more understanding—but fear keeps getting in the way. The fear of making things worse. The fear of being misunderstood. Or you’ve stopped bringing things up altogether because you don’t even know how to ask for what you need anymore. Sometimes, you’re not even sure what that is.

You keep catching yourself holding it in—swallowing the words you really want to say—because it feels easier than risking another blow-up. And when you do try to explain, it feels like the other person hears something completely different than what you meant. The gap between you starts to feel bigger than both of you, even though you’re sitting in the same room.

The uncertainty is so painful. You question whether the love you share is strong enough to survive this season, or wonder if you’ve grown too far apart to find your way back. You compare your relationship to others and ask yourself, “Why can’t we have that?” These doubts erode your hope, even as a part of you still longs for closeness.

There’s an ache that’s hard to put into words

There’s an ache that’s hard to put into words—the kind that comes from knowing the person you love most doesn’t fully see what’s going on inside of you. You notice moments where you almost let your guard down, but then something shifts, and you pull it back in. Maybe you’ve started feeling more like teammates managing life together than partners truly sharing it.

Looking back, you see a pattern—hurts that never really got healed, needs that never got met, and a growing feeling of loneliness within the relationship. You long for something deeper, but don’t know how to get there from here.

You’re both insightful in your own ways. You’ve tried to figure this out—read books, listened to podcasts, had the late-night talks. But still, the same stuckness shows up.

You’ve had those “We’ll do better” talks at 2 a.m., only to find yourselves back in the same place a few weeks later. You’ve shared playlists, articles, even little love notes trying to bridge the distance—but nothing seems to stick for long. It’s not that you don’t care. It’s that you keep getting pulled into something you can’t quite name, and it leaves you both feeling more alone than you ever thought you would in this relationship.

You want this to be different. You’re willing to show up and do the work together. You just need help seeing what feels hidden—why these same arguments keep happening, why the walls go up so fast, why the tenderness feels so far away.

Sometimes you can almost remember what it felt like in the beginning—the way you leaned into each other without hesitation, the way even your disagreements felt like you were still on the same side. You want that ease again. You want to feel like you’re both reaching toward each other, not away. You don’t want to live the rest of your life wondering if you could have found your way back.

There’s a part of you that’s scared this can’t get better. That maybe this is as good as it gets. But at the same time, you know you can’t keep going like this—hurting each other, feeling stuck, and missing out on the connection you both truly want.

You’re looking for someone who gets it. A therapist who can see both of you, hold the whole story, and help you make sense of the pieces. Someone who can help you find your way back to each other.

You need a place where you can both put the armor down. A place where the pauses aren’t heavy with tension, where you don’t feel the need to defend every word, where you can look at each other and see the person you fell in love with—not the distance that’s grown between you.

Hi, I’m Karl 

I am a couples and relationship counselor Irvine, CA using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

I help people who feel stuck in their relationships—whether it’s with a spouse, partner, parent, sibling, or close friend. You keep having the same argument over and over, or maybe the silence between you has grown louder than the words. You feel misunderstood, unseen, or like you’re walking on eggshells. I help people untangle the patterns that keep them disconnected and find a way back to real, meaningful connection.

I help couples, friends, and family members explore what’s really going on beneath the surface, and shift the old cycles that keep you stuck. Together, we will slow things down and understand what each person is feeling, needing, and protecting. Whether you’re coming in as a couple or working on a complex family or friendship dynamic, I offer a space where you can learn to speak honestly and listen differently. I use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you finally hear each other and start to heal the hurts.

A Safe Place to Untangle Patterns and Rebuild Trust

My clients and I work together weekly creating the consistency and support to move through the process of growth and healing. Much of our work will be talking, but we may integrate anything from moving your body, to brainspotting, to art and beyond depending on what you are needing to integrate your story and find what you are looking for.  After working together my clients often have a better sense of identity, improved self-confidence and understanding. They report deeper and more meaningful relationships with family, friends and partners. Therapy isn’t a scary process of blaming and judging who is right and who is wrong. It is a chance to finally hear and feel heard. Letting go of the need to blame or carry shame and reconnect with each other in the meaningful way you are both wanting.

Contact me for a free consultation for relationship counseling in Irvine, CA

I know it can feel like a big step to call a therapist, but I’ll make it easy. We’ll spend 15-minutes on the phone and I’ll let you know how or if I can help. If I am not the right person, I’ll do my best to get you to the right person. Contact me at (949) 922-0734 for your free 15-minute phone consultation for counseling in Irvine.

Discover how working with a therapist who understands you and has a plan to help, can change your relationship for good.